Unexpected Banger

Haleon recalled 285,330 blister cards of Gas-X Extra Strength Antigas SoftGels (D-0542-2026) because the outer carton had incomplete inactive ingredient information. Nobody was harmed. No press release was issued. A world-weary jazz crooner has thoughts.

Jones Dairy Farm — est. 1889, name contains the word 'Dairy' — recalled their 'No Antibiotics Ever Chicken Sausage Links' (Item #1211239) from Midwest Costco locations after a small amount of pork was introduced during production. Not a food safety concern. A vice president signed the letter. Three animals, one breakfast link, zero injuries — performed as a foot-stomping Appalachian bluegrass barn-revival confession.

Champion Foods voluntarily recalled Motor City Pizza Co. 5 Cheese Bread because a milk powder supplier three steps back in the supply chain had a potential Salmonella issue — even though every batch tested negative and zero illnesses were reported. The 22-retailer distribution list and FDA boilerplate on arterial infections, endocarditis, and arthritis, delivered over cold Detroit drill 808s. The chorus is the company's actual posture.